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CHRISTIAN COUPLES AND CONTRACEPTION
by Shaun Willcock
Part
One
“So God created man in
his own image, in the image of God created he him; male and
female created he them. And God blessed them, and God said
unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply...”
(Gen.1:27,28).
In this article, the author is going
to be giving scriptural teaching on a very sensitive subject.
In earlier, less complicated and confusing times, it was very
simple: a man and a woman came together in marriage, and as a
general rule children followed. Contraceptive methods were
practiced - they have always been practiced, in fact - but
they were unsophisticated and frequently unreliable, nothing
like the modern methods available today.
Yes, those were
definitely less complicated and confusing times. Today, when
couples marry (and Christian couples are not immune from
this), they are swamped with advice and suggestions from all
quarters: relatives, friends, literature, doctors, etc. They
hear dire warnings of the consequences of “not using some form
of birth control,” because “you surely don’t want children
right away, do you?” The Christian woman, especially, as she
plans for marriage, often comes under great pressure to use
certain “birth control” methods, never examining what the
Scriptures have to say on this matter, nor the harmful effects
on her own body, nor the tragic and horrifying results of
using certain methods which in fact are nothing less than
forms of abortion!
So many Christians
are so ignorant of these very important matters. Certainly
very few receive scriptural teaching about these things. Why
do even sound pastors generally remain silent about this
subject? “Oh, it’s not for us to interfere. It’s a private
matter to be decided by each couple.” Really? When God has
spoken in His Word, are we not to obey? To give an example on
another sensitive subject: God’s Word says, “The wife hath not
power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the
husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. Defraud
ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time...
and come together again” (1 Cor.7:4,5). Do we say that it’s a
“private matter,” and therefore the pastor should not teach
this part of God’s Word, merely because it speaks of what is
done in the privacy of the bedroom? Certainly not! All aspects
of marriage need to be properly taught to the flock. The
Lord’s people need to know how they are to behave, not only in
public but even in their most private moments. For “the eyes
of the Lord are in every place, beholding the evil and the
good” (Prov.15:3). What occurs in the bedroom may be hidden
from other men, but not from God; and the Christian couple are
to glorify the Lord even there.
There was a time when
all matters of a sexual nature were hardly ever spoken of at
all; and considering the importance of preserving modesty, and
preventing lustful thoughts, one can understand why this came
about. But this almost-total ban on the subject was, in fact,
a case of going beyond the Scriptures themselves: for the
Bible has much to say about sexual matters. This should hardly
be surprising, for the Lord Himself created man and woman with
the ability to procreate (Gen.1:27,28). Sexual intercourse is
the God-ordained means for the perpetuation of the human race!
It is, then, nothing less than disobedience to God when
ministers of Christ fail to give scriptural teaching on sexual
matters.
Today, the pendulum has swung completely in the
opposite direction. All matters of a sexual nature are now
discussed, dissected, and analysed, openly, freely, with
anyone and everyone, as readily as if discussing a recipe or
an afternoon stroll. This is to be deplored, and the Lord’s
people should not be guilty of it. But it makes it even more
imperative for proper scriptural teaching to be given!
Christians, living as they do in this fallen world, are
bombarded with all kinds of false teaching, human opinions,
etc., on sexual matters. Earlier generations did not have to
grapple with these issues to such an extent, but alas! we do
not live in such an uncluttered world anymore. It is thus the
duty of every true pastor to keep himself informed about the
world around him, so as to be able to give scriptural counsel
to the often-bewildered sheep under his care. And in addition,
it is the duty of every true Christian, in general, to search
the Scriptures, and to discover the will of God, before
rushing in and doing things which he or she would later have
cause to regret. So yes, the subject of contraception is a
sensitive one. But it cannot be avoided because of that.
Teaching must be provided, boldly and without
compromise.
Is Contraception Sinful? The
Account of Onan
The
author is well aware that many saints of God in the past
believed, and many believe today, that all contraceptive
methods are automatically sinful; but this position is not
supported by the Word of God. Those who take this position
believe they find support for it in the biblical account of
Onan. And so to this passage we must now
turn.
“And Judah took a
wife for Er his firstborn, whose name was Tamar. And Er,
Judah’s firstborn, was wicked in the sight of the Lord; and
the Lord slew him. And Judah said unto Onan, Go in unto thy
brother’s wife, and marry her, and raise up seed to thy
brother. And Onan knew that the seed should not be his; and it
came to pass, when he went in unto his brother’s wife, that he
spilled it on the ground, lest that he should give seed to his
brother. And the thing which he did displeased the Lord
[marginal note: “was evil in the eyes of the Lord”]: wherefore
he slew him also” (Gen.38:6-10).
The question is: what was
it that he did, which so displeased the Lord, being evil in
His eyes? Those who say that all contraceptive methods are
sinful, claim that Onan’s sin was that he practiced a crude
form of contraception. But they are not rightly interpreting
the text. This was not his sin. His sin was that he refused to
raise up seed unto his brother! This was the thing which so
displeased the Lord!
Through Moses, the Lord gave the
following commandment to the Israelites: “If brethren dwell
together, and one of them die, and have no child, the wife of
the dead shall not marry without unto a stranger: her
husband’s brother shall go in unto her, and take her to him to
wife, and perform the duty of an husband’s brother unto her.
And it shall be, that the firstborn which she beareth shall
succeed in the name of his brother which is dead, that his
name be not put out of Israel” (Deut.25:5,6). It was to this
very text that the Sadducees referred when they tried to trap
Jesus (Lk.20:27-40).
Onan, of course,
lived long before Moses; but it is clear from Gen.38 that the
patriarchs knew this was the will of the Lord for them even
before Moses wrote it down by divine inspiration. Judah
obviously knew the will of God in this matter, for he said to
Onan his son, “raise up seed to thy brother.” Onan “knew that
the seed should not be his.” He knew that his firstborn son
would be called the son of Er, his brother. And he resented
it! So what did he do? When he “went in” unto his new wife,
the widow of Er, he practiced a contraceptive method known as
coitus interruptus: he “spilled it on the ground.” And the
reason for his action is given, so that we are not in any
doubt whatsoever about the sinfulness of it: he did it “lest
that he should give seed to his brother.”
Immediately
afterwards, the Word of God says, “And the thing which he did
displeased the Lord: wherefore he slew him also.” Why was
Onan’s action so sinful? First, he disobeyed the will of God.
Second, he had no genuine love for his deceased brother, and
perhaps he coveted his brother’s estate for himself. Third, he
misused his brother’s wife, who, according to God’s will for
the people in those times, was entitled to conceive a child
from him in the name of her first husband, to ensure that the
deceased’s name did not disappear from the earth, and that his
inheritance did not pass into the hands of someone else.
Fourth, he did what he could to prevent the seed of Abraham
from multiplying. And fifth, he did what he could, as far as
was in his power (humanly speaking), to hinder the coming of
the Messiah, who was to come through the family of Judah. If
he had not committed this sin, he might have had the honour of
being an ancestor of the Lord Jesus Christ according to the
flesh. Raising up seed unto one’s brother was a particular
divine requirement for God’s people in those times (it is not
a divine requirement for anyone today); and thus it was sinful
for Onan to do what he did. But may we use this passage to
condemn the use of all contraceptive methods for all time?
Certainly not. This is reading into the inspired text what is
simply not there.
When Does Life
Begin?
Some who have
argued against contraception from the account of Onan have
claimed that it was a kind of murder. But is this true? No, it
is not. The “seed” of the man on its own, just like the
unfertilised egg of the woman, is not a human being! Life only
begins at the moment of conception. And this is something that
every Christian needs to understand very clearly from God’s
Word. God is “the Father of spirits” (Heb.12:9), for it
is the Lord who “formeth the spirit of man within him”
(Zech.12:1). As death occurs when the human spirit departs
from the body (Jas.2:26; Eccl.12:7), so life begins when God
forms the spirit of man within him (see Lk.8:54,55). And this
occurs at the moment of conception. When the sperm of the male
penetrates the egg of the female, conception occurs; and at
that moment, the Creator forms the human spirit within that
new physical being - just as Adam became a living soul when
the Lord God breathed the breath (or spirit) of life into him
(Gen.2:7). The parents are involved in the conception of the
physical being in the womb, but the human spirit is not passed
down from parent to child! Each human spirit is uniquely
created by God.
The baby in the
mother’s womb, then, is a human being! A human being comes
into existence when fertilization occurs. And this is why
abortion is nothing less than murder! - the murder of an
unborn human being. That child in the womb does not become a
human being at a week old, or ten weeks old, or only when it
emerges from the womb at birth: from the very moment of
conception, a human being begins to exist in the womb! As
David wrote in Psa.51:5, “in sin did my mother conceive me.”
He described himself as a person (“me”) from the very moment
of conception! And many other portions of Holy Scripture
assert the same great truth: see Gen.25:22; Psa.139:13-16;
Jer.1:4,5; Lk.1:15,36,41-44; Gal.1:15.
But before
conception occurs, is there life? No, there is not.
Biologically and biblically, life only begins when the male
sperm and the female egg fuse and become one. Prior to this -
the very moment of conception - there is no life. And thus,
what Onan did was certainly not murder! It was sinful for
other reasons, as seen above, but murder was not one of the
sins he committed.
And so with that, we must examine
what the Bible says about the blessing of children, and then
we must examine the various contraceptive methods, as well as
those which are erroneously referred to as “contraceptive”
methods, in the light of scriptural
teaching.
One of the Purposes for
Marriage
One of the
purposes for which God instituted marriage was for the
legitimate increase of mankind. “So God created man in his own
image, in the image of God created he him; male and female
created he them. And God blessed them, and God said unto them,
Be fruitful, and multiply” (Gen.1:27,28). When a man and woman
come together in marriage, it is right and proper for them to
become parents in due time, if the Lord grants them this. “Lo,
children are an heritage of the Lord: and the fruit of the
womb is his reward. As arrows are in the hand of a mighty man;
so are children of the youth. Happy is the man that hath his
quiver full of them” (Psa.127:3-5).
Now here we must
digress a little. Psa.127 contains a general rule, to which
there most certainly are exceptions. Children are not granted
to every married couple. God, who graciously gives children
(Gen.33:5), also at times withholds them from some (Gen.30:2).
Much hurt has been caused to childless couples by foolish
professing Christians who do not “rightly divide” Psa.127. For
one thing, it is not saying that all Christian couples can
expect to have children: children are an heritage of the Lord,
but not the only one! Childless couples must bear this in
mind, and understand that the sovereign Lord gives other
blessings, besides children. For another thing, although it
says, “Happy is the man that hath his quiver full of them,” we
are not to take this to mean that the Christian’s happiness
consists solely in having children! The believer must be happy
in the Lord, happy having none but the Lord, if that is the
Lord’s will. Paul the apostle had neither wife nor children,
but he was certainly happy, for he rejoiced in the Lord. And
there are many Christians, like Paul, who have neither wife
nor children. There are others who are married, but their
spouses hate them because they love and follow the Lord. The
Christian woman, then, who has no children (something like 15%
of all couples are childless), but who has a loving husband,
should rejoice for the husband she has! Hannah was childless;
but her loving husband, Elkanah, said to her: “am not I better
to thee than ten sons?” (1 Sam.1:8).
This was true, simply in
the sense that it is a woman’s husband who is to be her
protector, provider, and lifelong companion. He is there
before any children, and will be there after they have grown
and left the home. No matter how loving and devoted a son is
to his mother (and a good son will remain so all his life), as
a general rule he eventually leaves home, and cleaves unto a
wife of his own, and they start their own family. This is the
way God has ordered it (Gen.2:24). The children “leave the
nest,” but the husband remains. The wife who thinks, then,
that life is hardly worth living because she has no children,
is doing wrong to the man who loves her and cares for her! How
wrong was Rachel’s cry of desperation to Jacob, which sprung
from envy of her sister’s fruitfulness: “Give me children or
else I die” (Gen.30:1)! She had the great love of Jacob
(Gen.29:20), but she was not content with that, and in her
sinful cry of anguish she treated him very wrongly. And
furthermore, she thought she would die because she had no
children; but in fact she died giving birth to the second one
the Lord finally gave her (Gen.35:16-20). What a lesson here!
Rachel thought the worst calamity imaginable was having no
children; and yet when she finally did have them, she did not
live to enjoy them.
Certainly, a
believer who has children will derive much pleasure from them;
but the professing Christian who seeks for happiness solely in
children will be disappointed. Children are a truly wonderful
blessing, given to parents to love with all their hearts; but
as great a blessing as it is, it is mixed with sorrow, from
which those who do not have children are spared. The great
difficulties of raising children in the nurture and admonition
of the Lord; the pain of seeing them commit all kinds of sins
because of their depraved natures; the pain of constantly
having to discipline them with the rod (for this is painful to
the parent, even though necessary and right); the heartache
for many of seeing their adult children, even if externally
moral and decent because of faithful training by the parents
throughout childhood, yet still unregenerate after many years
- all these things add up to parenthood being a mixture of
much joy and much sorrow. Besides, we “know not what shall be
on the morrow” (Jas.4:14), and a Christian parent may die
before he or she has had time to enjoy the children the Lord
has given, as Rachel did; or the children may die before the
parents, as Job’s did (Job 1:18,19), which is heartache enough
for any parents. If the foundation of Job’s happiness had been
in his children, then he could never have responded in the
wonderful way he did when they were all killed: “the Lord
gave, and the Lord hath taken away; blessed be the name of the
Lord” (Job 1:21).
The foundation of Job’s
happiness was the Lord Himself! The children whom God had
given him were received by him as an immense blessing from the
Lord, but he made no idols out of them, nor sought for all his
happiness in them, much less the source and foundation of his
happiness. Too many professing Christians make this terrible
mistake. The very next psalm - Psa.128 - says, “Thy wife shall
be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house: thy
children like olive plants round about thy table. Behold, that
thus shall the man be blessed that feareth the Lord.... Yea,
thou shalt see thy children’s children” (vv.3,4,6). But again,
as with Psa.127, it is wrong to take this psalm as being
applicable to every single Christian in every single case.
Paul the apostle was certainly a man that feared the Lord, yet
he had neither wife nor children nor grandchildren. Was he,
then, not blessed of the Lord? Most certainly he was! - but in
other ways. And so it is with all the Lord’s people who have
no children. Please take note of
Isa.56:1-5!
Contentment! Every child
of God must learn to be content with what they have
(Phil.4:11). It is right for believing husbands (Gen.25:21)
and believing wives (1 Sam.1:9-20) to pray to the Lord if they
are childless; but still they must learn contentment, resting
in the Lord’s will for them, knowing that He will always do
what is best for them.
But to return to the
main point. One of the purposes for which God instituted
marriage was for the legitimate increase of mankind. And the
man and woman who marry are to enter into this state with the
full intention of having children at some point, if it pleases
the Lord to “open the womb” (Gen.30:22). This popular modern
attitude that many couples have, who say, “Oh, we don’t plan
to have any children - we don’t want any,” is an unscriptural
one. Generally, it springs from selfishness and greed: they do
not want the “hassle” of children, they do not want to make
the sacrifices necessary, they cannot bear the thought of
having to cut back on the “fun” they have, or the thought of
having less money. No Christian couple should enter into
marriage with such a sinful attitude.
Another Purpose for Marriage
But (and it is a most
important but!) marriage was not only ordained by God for the
legitimate increase of mankind! This is certainly one of its
purposes, beyond any shadow of doubt; but not the only one.
Another purpose for which the Lord God instituted marriage was
for the mutual pleasure of both husband and wife! Consider
carefully the words of 1 Cor.7:2-5: “Nevertheless, to avoid
fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every
woman have her own husband. Let the husband render unto the
wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the
husband. The wife hath not power of her own body, but the
husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his
own body, but the wife. Defraud ye not one the other, except
it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to
fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt
you not for your incontinency.” And v.9 says, “But if they
[the unmarried, and widows] cannot contain, let them marry:
for it is better to marry than to burn.” In a nutshell, this
passage of Scripture is saying that marriage was instituted by
God to prevent people from burning with lust, and committing
fornication; and that husband and wife should “come together”
(i.e. in sexual intercourse), and not defraud one another,
except when by mutual consent they refrain because they are
engaged in periods of special prayer and fasting.
We are
not told here that husband and wife must only come together
for the purpose of conceiving children! Many women are
theoretically able to conceive children year after year after
year! Now if sexual intercourse is only for the purpose of
conceiving children, then the married couple have only two
choices: they either only come together whenever they want the
wife to conceive, in which case (if, say, they feel they would
like only three children) they would only come together as
often as necessary to produce three children - and then never
again; or, they come together whenever they like, and have as
many children as she is able to conceive!
Well, the first
choice would mean that the commandment of 1 Cor.7:5 would be
disobeyed, for this states: “Defraud ye not one the other...
come together again, that Satan tempt you not”. So this is
wrong. And the second choice would mean, for many couples,
that they would end up with many, many children - in some
cases, perhaps, twenty or even more. Now what has to be
established is: although couples may continue to have children
if they want to, do they have to? Or may they take steps to
limit the number they have?
There are those who
say, “No steps must be taken to limit the size of one’s
family. The husband and wife must come together, without using
any methods of contraception, and if many children are granted
to them, they must be content with this, as being God’s will.
As Psa.127 says, children are an heritage of the Lord, and the
fruit of the womb is His reward.” But this position is in fact
going beyond the Scriptures themselves. Firstly, because
nowhere does the Bible say that married couples must just keep
on having children - not even in Psa.127, which is only
teaching that children are one of the great blessings the Lord
gives to many (but certainly not to all) of His people.
Secondly, because sexual intercourse is not only for the
purpose of conceiving children, as 1 Cor.7 makes plain.
Although it is not right for a married couple to take a
decision never to have children, they are free to decide how
many they would like to have, if the Lord wills, whether one,
two, ten, or any other figure. And, therefore, they are
entitled to take legitimate steps to prevent having more than
that number. For as sexual intercourse is plainly not only for
the purpose of begetting children, and in fact must be a
normal part of a married couple’s life (according to 1 Cor.7),
it follows that the only way to obey 1 Cor.7:2-5, without
conceiving children, is to make use of legitimate
contraceptive methods.
And it is at this
point that we must get down to specifics. A term often used is
“birth control.” But really, this term is broader in meaning
than “contraception,” because contraception means the
prevention of conception, whereas birth control means the
controlling of how many children are born! Conception may have
taken place, a new life may have begun, but “birth control”
can still sinfully prevent that unborn life from being born!
Thus, “birth control” is not an option for the Christian: once
conception takes place, birth must follow, and not be
prevented! Conception alone may be prevented!
And
furthermore: the only legitimate contraceptives are those
which do nothing more than prevent conception - anything which
prevents implantation of the embryo in the uterus is not
contraception (prevention of conception), it is abortion (for
conception has already occurred). This will become clearer as
we proceed.
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